The Great Cattle Migration: A Farmer's Annual Rite of Passage (and Terror)
Oh dear, oh dear. That was… suboptimal. Definitely not how I envisioned things unfolding. Today was the monumental day on the farm – the day we finally herded the cattle down to their winter quarters. And if I'm being completely honest, this particular activity always fills me with a healthy dose of terror.
"Good morning, large white farm dog!" I greeted Abby and Toby, their morning enthusiasm a stark contrast to my internal trepidation. "Hi guys, hi!" And I'm fairly certain the root of my anxiety lies in the sheer number of things that could potentially go sideways during this operation. "Morning, birds! How's everybody doing? Release the quacken!"
This marks the fourth time I've undertaken this annual cattle relocation – a fall ritual. So, on one hand, I've accumulated a fair bit of experience and should, theoretically, know what I'm doing. Yet, it remains one of the more nerve-wracking tasks on the farm. Firstly, the risk of personal injury is significantly higher. A misstep, a spooked cow, and I could easily find myself under a thousand pounds of hoof. Secondly, there's that nagging, albeit tiny, possibility of a bovine breakout, a stampede into the wild blue yonder (or, more accurately, my neighbor's field), requiring a full-scale farmer-led roundup. The core task is simple: move the entire herd from their fenced paddock in the upper pasture down to their lower paddock. The challenge lies in ensuring no one decides to take an unscheduled detour.
Adding to today's specific complexities is the inevitable separation of calves from their mothers. Weaning time has arrived. While most of the calves have naturally started the process themselves, I suspect there are still one or two freeloaders enjoying a milky breakfast. This separation will last for approximately three to four weeks, allowing the mothers to dry off before the family units are reunited. Furthermore, I need to isolate my bull and steer from the rest of the herd. The window for the bull's romantic endeavors is closing to avoid the delightful prospect of winter babies next year. Delaying this separation much longer increases that risk. So, if the farm gods smile upon me and everything goes according to (my very loose) plan, by the end of this video, the moms will be distinct from the babies, the gentlemen from the ladies, and the farm will be 100% in its winter configuration, poised for the first snowstorm, which, according to the weather prognosticators, should arrive in about two days – hence the urgency of this bovine relocation project.
"All right, boys, I'm here to feed you." At this juncture, I'm really starting to appreciate the relative ease of managing goats compared to cattle. If a goat gets unruly, a firm push or a bit of gentle (or not-so-gentle) manhandling usually does the trick. When you're dealing with animals the size of small cars with impressive weaponry on their heads, the persuasion tactics need to be… different. As you can see, the goats are currently indulging in the last remnants of our kale crop. With the impending storms, there won't be much left to salvage, so I'm letting my mischievous munchers enjoy the winter's final bounty. "You like that, don't you, Barnaby? Yes, you do!" It's all part of their diverse winter diet, supplemented by tree branches, random foraged goodies, and, of course, hay, their primary sustenance throughout the colder months.
The grand plan involves the calves staying on this side of the yard, the mothers on the other, and the boys taking up residence by the barn – essentially the same spot the ladies occupied last year. I've got everything more or less set up, and the downhill walk should be relatively straightforward, provided I maintain a calm demeanor, take my time, and keep things moving slowly. The real challenge, I suspect, will be the subsequent separation of the boys and the youngsters. If I'm being completely honest, even just sitting here talking about it is a form of procrastination. The ideal scenario is to move them all from that larger pasture uphill, down the slope, and into this lower yard. Then, I'll sort out the fellas, followed by the youngsters, and then, hopefully, it'll be Miller time.
The area posing the greatest escape risk is right over here, where I have a two-strand electric wire running. I definitely don't want them crossing that boundary; once they breach the fence into my neighbor's field, all agricultural hell could break loose. You know how during the summer months, when I move the cattle each morning, I often sound like a hot dog vendor at Fenway Park? Well, a significant reason for that vocal performance is my ongoing attempt to train the cattle to respond to my voice. Over the past couple of years, I've been trying to condition them to come when called. And as you can see, they're already starting to line up over here. It should just be a matter of opening this gate and calling them through. So, I'm about to utter the cliché "here goes nothing," but first, a couple of quick last-minute checks. I want to ensure this fence over here is also electrified. Okay, everything looks good, and it seems the cattle are indeed heading my way. "Hey, Kels! Come on, Kels! Fresh grass, fresh grass! Come on!" I'm just going to wait a moment for them to reach a critical mass, for everyone to gather over here before I open the gate and let them descend. It'll be easier to move them as one large herd downhill rather than in dribs and drabs. "Hey, Kels! Come on, Kels! Fresh grass, fresh grass! Come on! Hey, Kels! Come on, Kels! Fresh grass, fresh grass! Come on!" You know, my four calves in the back there, two of them have never been down to the lower barn before. And when I compare the other two to how they looked when they first moved up to the upper pasture, they've grown considerably. Alright, it looks like I have the full crew ready to move, so I'm going to open this gate and see what happens. "Hey, Kels! Come on, Kels! Down you go! Let's go! Ooh, easy, easy! Come on, let's go! Come on, come on, little ones, go join your moms! Come on, come on, you four!" Alright, let's see if I can get them to follow me down the hill. "Come on, girls! Let's go! Let's go, everybody down!" These are my four bossiest cattle: my steer Joey Ramone, Macho Man our bull, Audrey One, and Ariel. "Start sliding everybody else down! Easy, girls, come on!" Alright, we're going to leave those three up here for now and keep moving everyone further down. "Come on, nice and easy, Annabelle! Come on, wrong way! Come on, easy girls, coming down, Annabelle!" Alright, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy, Macho Man! They're picking up steam down the other way. "Come on down the hill! Come on, Amanda, let's go! Uh-oh, Buffy slipped under! Come on!" Alright, thank you, Buffy! "Hey, Buffy, you got to get under! No, don't go back up! No!" Oh, that was not good! That was not, not good at all! Let's see if I can get them down here. "Hey, Kels! Come on, Kels! Fresh grass, fresh grass! Come on! Hey, Kels! Come on, Kels! Fresh grass, fresh grass! Come on! Hey, Kels! Come on, Kels! Fresh grass, fresh grass! Come on! Come here!" Alright, well, at least they didn't go anywhere. "Come on, guys! You know what? I might just actually walk Macho Man all the way in here to where he's supposed to go for now. Come on, Macho Man, inside!" Now look, here's all the hay you could ever desire! There's hay, there's grass, I'll even give you some alfalfa cubes. Now you wait here; I'm going to let the rest of the crew do their thing. But yes, Macho seems like he's in a really good place, and yeah, I love watching him fight the hay bales; he does this whenever he gets a fresh bale. Let me see if I can get the rest of the herd to come down and follow. "Hey, Kels! Come on, Kels! Fresh grass, fresh grass! Come on! Come on, girls, why are you dilly-dallying? Take them down to Macho Man! Come on, come on! Yeah, come on, Audrey! Let's go! You're the boss cow, bring your cows down! Come on, Amanda, we're going to reunite you with your daughter in a second! Come on, you know what to do! It's treat time! Come on, come on, let's go, guys! Linda, you're doing it!" Let's see if I can get at least some of you to come down with me here. See if I can get them following. "Come on, Kels! Come here, Audrey! Come here, Belinda! Come on, Bonnie, you know you want this! Come on! Oh yeah, come on, girl! Come on, let's go! Come on, girls, come on!" Alright, well, the Wonder Twins know what to do. Good girls! "Hey, Kels! Come on, Kels! Fresh grass, fresh grass! Come on!" Oh, that's such a good Belinda Carlile! Whoa, easy, easy, easy! Good girl! Stop! Got to use your brakes! "Hey, Kels! Come on, girls!" Well, I guess I've got to kind of just be a little bit patient; they keep munching on the grass on the ground here, so I'm not going to rush them. Macho Man, you're just being the goodest boy possible inside. "Come on, H! H! Come on, Macho Man, can I get you back inside here? Come here! I'm going to need you to lead the way. Come on, Macho! Come here, Belinda! Belinda, look, I got more treats for you! Come on! Come on, keep walking with me! Come on! Come on, guys, you're almost there! Inside! There you go! Here you go! You guys get a reward! You, that's your reward, Belinda, for being such a good girl and being such a good leader! Good job, Audrey! Good job! Okay, Bonnie McMurray and Anna Green Gables, I think, right?" Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! "Ariel! Ariel, come here, Ariel! Come on! You got this, Ariel! Come on! Oh, you almost got it! You almost got it! Come on, girl! Come on, you're doing so good! Come on! Come on, Ariel! Come on, Bonnie! Come on, let's go! Go join your mom! Your mom just went in no problem, and your sister's in there, and your boyfriend's in there! Everybody you love is right in there!" You know, it's funny how cattle really do have relationships, some animals that they're closer to versus others. Like, for example, Bonnie McMurray here, her mother Ariel and her sister Belinda Carlile are the two that she's closest with for sure. "There you go! Good job, girl!" Alright, we got about half the herd down, but we got to get the calves, the Charolais, and I think Amanda Hug and Kiss. Amanda Hug and Kiss! Amanda Hug and Kiss! I need Amanda Hug and Kiss! I think this is the point where I'm going to need to drive the rest of these gals down the hill. And since I have most of the cattle where I want them, that should make the rest of this relatively easy, or at least relatively straightforward. "Can you guys go down the hill? Come on! Here, Annabelle, I know you know the power of the treat! Go take it, Baby B!" You're making an awful lot of noise, and I think having you this close to where everybody else was moving might have been part of my problem today. As is usually the case when you have problems on the farm, it's usually the fault of the farmer. I should have known the last four cattle would be my troublesome Charolais. "Down the hill, girls, come on! Yeah, Betty White, that means you too! Come on! Come on, girls, let's go down the hill! March, march, march! Let's go! Quit your bellyaching there, Baby B! You know, Baby B, if you weren't bellyaching so much, you'd probably be reunited by now! Like, as soon as I get everybody separated out, you're going to see your mom! Come on, Astrid, keep moving! Move it! Keep moving it, Astrid! Come on!" I feel like I've run up and down this hill about six times now in the last 20 minutes. "Come on, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you're almost in! You're almost in! We're almost there! We're so, so close! There we go! Oh, come on, Astrid, keep moving!" Alright, there we go! Alright, let's get our gate closed nice and snug. Now we have… oh shoot! I forgot to close that side! Oh no! Oh no! Screwed up! Forgot to close the side where I had opened up for the tractor! I meant to close it, but I forgot to close it. Actually, wait a minute, this could be a happy accident because right now I've got my Charolais. Can I get my last calf out? I've got two calves in there. Amelia, I'm going to need you and Astrid to go! "Come on, Amelia, back in!" Now this is adorable! So, Astrid and her daughter Alice B. Toes are just being reunited! So, Alice was Astrid's daughter last year, calf last year, I guess I should say. Astrid is from this year. Let's see if I can't get these two to go back in. No, this is for your daughters! Come on! They're demolishing that bale! I better be careful; they're getting a little rowdy! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy girl, easy! Alright, I'll give you a few minutes to chill out. Now I need to set up the lane so that Macho Man, who's right over here, plus Joey Ramone can be moved out and over to their pen in the barn. And so, uh, let's get that set up. "Come on, you two big girls, out of here! Come on, yip!" Alright, good, we got you in there! "Alright, Astrid, come on! Now it's your turn! We got Amelia in already; now it's you! Follow her in! Whoa!" Alright, let's close this off. Okay, we got you two just where I want you. Looks like I got both the boys by the door. Alright, now I think we want to move the boys. We got both Macho Man and Joey Ramone pretty close to the gate. Let's open this back up. Oh, I'm glad I double-checked myself here! I almost let the boys into their space and didn't have their gate closed. We're going to drive the boys through this lane here, get them into their winter yard. "Hey, buddy, you want to come with me? Got to go that way! You want to come? Look, I even got treats! Come on! Come on, Macho Man! Joey, I want you to come with me too! Come on! Oh, you're eating a big piece of cattle spaghetti! Come on, Joey, come with me! Come on! Come on, Joey, let's go! Come on, Joey!" Alright, fine! I'm going to let you go back in! I'm going to put you back with your moms! "Come on! Come on! Putting you back with your moms! Here you go!" When I first got cattle on the farm, I was very fixated on trying to get them to do exactly what I wanted and make all these complex plans. And then each time, everything would get shot to hell the minute the cattle decided that they wanted to be cattle and not like trained dogs and listen to me. But as I've developed some experience working with cattle, and working with my herd specifically, one of the things I've realized is I've got to be patient, and I really got to work at their pace, not my pace. And I think right now what I'm seeing is this is one of those situations where today I was able to get them into this yard, and that is like three-quarters of the battle unto itself. And so now my plan is going to be to just actually let them chill out and stay in here. And I don't know, maybe I'll come back this evening, or maybe I'll come back first thing tomorrow, and I'll try to separate out the heifers, and I will try to separate out the bull and the steer, and I will probably bring the yearling heifers down and reintroduce them to their moms. And that will be something you guys see in the next video. But until then, thanks for watching everybody!