Oh, Crud! The Great Cattle Escape and Other Farmyard Adventures
Well, folks, welcome back to the farm! It's always a pleasure to have you join me, even if the circumstances of our reunion this morning involved a rather alarming discovery. Yes, you saw that right. "Oh, crud" pretty much sums it up. It appears our bovine buddies decided to take an unscheduled tour of the orchard.
Now, you might be eyeing this clock in my hand with a healthy dose of curiosity. Rest assured, all will be revealed soon enough. Speaking of curiosity, good morning to the ever-present Genie Barncat! You seem rather intrigued by this ticking device, don't you? Well, this alarm clock is actually a key player in a little project we've got brewing. But for now, let's head into the new barn. And just to clarify, this green board here? Totally unrelated to the aforementioned clock.
Now, depending on how dedicated you are to our live streams, you might already have a hunch about what I'm about to get into. For the past twelve hours or so, we've had a little window into the world of our hatchery, broadcasting live from right here on the farm. Let's go take a peek at how things are progressing.
Good morning to all you wonderful folks tuning in! Yes, you guessed it. We've got incubators humming away, including the big one, and some tiny eggs that look like they're just about ready to make their grand entrance. We're keeping a close eye on them, and it's been fantastic having nearly 300 of you hanging out with us on the live stream – truly mind-boggling!
And a special shout-out to the eagle-eyed viewers who suggested I bring in a clock. Your wish is my command! So here it is, making its live stream debut. We also have the delightful Jenny Barncat who has, as per usual, managed to sneak in. She might add a touch of her signature chaos to the proceedings.
As I carefully inspect the eggs, I'm not seeing any signs of pipping just yet. For those curious about the live stream setup, it's actually this very phone that's been our window to the world. And look at Jenny Barncat, completely enamored with this chair. Hi, sweet girl! How are you doing today? Ready to tackle the rest of the chores with me?
Well, it seems the egg crew needs some uninterrupted time to do their thing. And there's no budging you from that chair, is there, Jenny? Can I at least give you a belly rub? What is it you desire, you adorable creature? You know you're ridiculously cute in that chair, right?
Alright, let's go, Jenny. Come on, Jyn! Looks like she's decided to hold her ground. Oh, and I almost forgot! I was planning on playing some music to see if it might encourage our little hatchlings to emerge. So, for all you live stream aficionados, we'll have a little musical interlude. Let's see how this goes. Got the trusty MP3 player hooked up to the speaker. Jenny, you're right in the way! Excuse me, miss. We're kicking things off with some rather mysterious tunes, interspersed with some fun little commercials and, of course, a healthy dose of my legendary song parodies from years past. It's going to be quite the sonic journey!
Come on, Jin! We've got more tasks awaiting us. And speaking of the past, for those of you who've always wondered about the final resting place of Kurt Cobain… well, never mind. Oh, and look who it is! Pablo Barncat has graced us with his presence. What's up, buddy? It was a bit rainy earlier, but it looks like things have dried off nicely now. Let's venture out and see what the day has in store for us around the farm.
"Oh, crud." There it is again. Not exactly the sight I was hoping for. I'll show you what's got me uttering such eloquent phrases in just a moment. Hello, Lady Abington! Look at you, sitting so patiently by the gate like a proper lady. How's it going, sweetheart? And what's up, Toby dog? Ah, Toby's trying to alert me to the very problem I just noticed. I know, buddy, I know. Your heightened state of alert isn't exactly subtle. Hey there, pal.
So, yes, it appears the cattle have staged a breakout. They are currently enjoying a leisurely stroll through the orchard. Not the ideal start to my morning, I must admit. It looks like most of the herd has decided to go on an adventure. I'm going to have to devise a strategy to round them up and bring them back to their designated area. However, I think I'll tackle my regular chores first. The last thing I need is all the other animals getting agitated while I'm trying to manage a herd of runaway cows. That way, when it's cattle-wrangling time, I can give them my undivided attention.
The main agricultural challenge I'm currently facing is the burgeoning grass. It's really starting to take off, which is fantastic, but it's still a tad too soft, mushy, and underdeveloped for full-on grazing. That's why I've been limiting their access. The downside is they aren't particularly thrilled with their hay rations at the moment, making them a little… challenging. Come on, Abby Dog, chores await!
Well, well, well! If it isn't the Bleeding Deacons themselves! How are you doing, fellas? How's our L? How's our Tmicus? And Barnacus, you looking for some snacks? I can see that hay is definitely on your minds. Enjoy!
Actually, the new goat setup is proving to be quite effective. However, I'm likely going to relocate them or at least establish a temporary "daycare" in various spots so they can lend a hand in trimming some of the more enthusiastic patches of grass.
Now, the old goat house has undergone a bit of a transformation. We currently have a very dedicated mama goose residing there. I believe today marks day six of her vigil on her nest. Hi, mama! How are you doing? You good? Alright, we'll leave you to your important work. You know, the longer a goose sits on her nest, the more fiercely protective she becomes. And at this point, she is completely locked in. In fact, she's so committed that she's inadvertently blocking some of the other geese from laying their eggs in that area. It seems she has firmly established her claim. Even though this one egg is a little damp, I'll set it aside, and it will join next week's hatching endeavors.
Oh, look who it is! Our old friend Generic Duck is also apparently a mother-to-be! What are you up to there, girl? Oh, only two eggs. I'm going to have to confiscate those, my dear. You'll have plenty more opportunities for little ones later this summer. She's actually one of my most reliable mama ducks. Her and her sister, Jerk Duck, both Cayuga ducks, have successfully raised several generations of ducklings here on the farm. So, not quite yet, but probably in about a month or so, I'll let her start sitting on a proper nest so she can hatch out another batch of ducklings for the year.
And now, it's time for our daily check-in with the weird chickens. No, Abby, you are not allowed to check in with the weird chickens. Just me. Here you go, girls! Fresh food! While they're happily pecking away, I'm going to see what treasures they've left us in the egg department. I completely forgot to collect their eggs yesterday, and they seem to be in a bit of an egg-laying frenzy right now. I think I did this last time, but it still amuses me. Look at this! A delicate silky egg right next to this substantial one from Carmen, our black chicken. The sheer difference in chicken egg size is quite impressive.
Alright, ducks, let's go! We do this dance every single time. You guys manage to escape during the day, but when it comes time to lay eggs and have a meal, it's back to the house you go. I get it. Hi, Abington! How's it going, Toby Dog? Good to see you, buddy! Oh, you are such a good boy. Yes, you are! Good, good Toby dogs! Ron Swanson, if you'd like to come inside, you can witness the morning's egg haul. One, two more chicken eggs! Man, this is becoming a daily ritual. Alright, I'm claiming your first egg of the day. I swear, that hen is the broodiest chicken I've ever encountered. Every single morning for the past month, at least, she's been trying to incubate eggs, and every day I take them, yet she persists!
Let's see if any other duck or goose eggs are lurking around. Ah, here's a goose egg. And a duck egg. Another duck egg. And yet another! You know, part of the reason I keep the birds in the hoop coop for a few more weeks is that it makes collecting the goose eggs significantly easier. And so, yes, four goose eggs this morning! That's a good start. I'll probably try to squeeze in one more hatching class by the end of next week.
You know, one of the most challenging aspects of running a farm with all these animals is the constant decision-making without a perfect playbook. So much depends on the weather, the seasons, and a whole host of other complicating factors. I wish I could say, "Every May 15th, the birds move out of the hoop coop, end of story." But the reality is it's dictated by the geese's laying patterns and whether I can continue hatching more goslings. That's the primary factor that determines the move more than a specific date. Once their laying significantly slows down, that's when they get their eviction notice.
It's a similar dilemma with the cattle. Right now, you can look at all this lush green grass and think, "Just let them out to graze!" But the pasture isn't quite ready yet. If I let them out too early, they can damage the delicate growth, and it won't recover properly later in the season. It's a classic case of being penny-wise and pound-foolish, or perhaps a better analogy would be short-term gratification versus long-term sustainability. Regardless, it requires careful consideration.
You know, I was just down there giving the lower pasture a bit of a verbal lashing for not being quite ready. So, I figured it would be prudent to come up here and assess the situation with my own eyes. And honestly, as you can see, it's a beautiful emerald green up here. Looking at the grass growth, it's doing remarkably well. We've had plenty of warmth and ample rain, the ideal conditions. However, based on my rudimentary understanding of pasture and grazing management, I believe it needs at least another week. Perhaps by this time next week, it will be just about perfect, but for now, it needs a little more time to mature.
Knowing this, I also know I need to get my act together on some other fronts. I've got a bit of fencing that needs mending – I suspect someone inadvertently damaged it late last fall. There are also waterline repairs looming, and I need to get the entire watering system prepped for the summer months. So, those tasks are definitely going on my to-do list for this week. Yes, I'd say that by next week, I should be ready to move the cattle up here. Whether it's early or late next week remains to be seen. But things are looking incredibly promising up here. This is honestly the best this pasture has ever looked, and this will be their third year grazing here. It's truly amazing to witness the positive impact they can have on a space like this in such a short time. The quality of the grass we're growing now is significantly, dramatically better than it was even a year or two ago.
So, for those wondering if the pasture is ready for grazing, the answer is close, but no cigar. But what I do need to address immediately is this delightful group of escapees up here. I can't have them wandering through the permaculture orchard. So, I'm going to have to figure out a way to gently encourage them back down and create a new temporary paddock to keep them contained for at least another week. I have enough hay to keep them fed for that period, but it's a constant battle to keep their attention on hay when this fresh, vibrant grass is beckoning. It's a spring ritual I've come to know all too well – trying to get the grazing just right while my cattle get increasingly impatient.
Look at those two! Aren't they just the cutest? On the right, we have the unnamed baby of Ariel, a sweet little heifer calf. And nestled down is baby Elvis. Let's sneak up and say hello. Hi, baby Elvis! He is growing into an exceptionally handsome calf. Seriously adorable. I mean, they're both cute, but there's something about this crossbreed that makes me think maybe, just maybe, he's worth tolerating the occasional orneriness that comes with the Charolais lineage.
Alright, Abby Dog, I'm going to need your assistance for this operation. You're going to help me with the herding. Come on! So, here's the plan. Step one involves setting up a new temporary paddock with some fresh grass. There's absolutely no way I'm going to convince these cattle to leave this lush greenery and return to the old paddock. The only solution is to lure them into a new area with equally tempting fresh grass. Plus, Baby Bee, who has been an exceptionally good girl and stayed exactly where she should, deserves some fresh grass too. So, hang tight, baby B, and let me get this new grazing area established first. Come on, Ariel! You guys are all going to get some fresh grass. And you two little ones, you're included too!
Yeah, the only ones who truly followed the rules are Betty White way in the back, Ariel, Astrid, and then surprisingly, Baby Bee, who I wouldn't have pegged as the well-behaved type. And then these two little calves, who simply stick close to their moms. Yes, I'm talking to you, little fella! It's okay, no need to be shy. You're actually helping me keep everyone together. Come on, Ariel! This is why I adore you. You always come when I call. The others are taking their sweet time, but you get to be first in line. Come on! Fresh grass! Fresh grass! Come on, girl! You deserve this – a whole patch of green all to yourself, at least for the next few minutes. You can bring the calves with you. Look at this ocean of green right up here! I'm going to encourage you to head this way. I'm sure the rest of the herd will follow your lead quickly.
And now, we're going to head to the top of the hill and gently persuade the rest of the girls to come down, but we need to guide them down the other side. The idea is to "flush" them in that direction so they end up exactly where I want them to be. I even constructed a little makeshift chute to help guide them. Hopefully, I won't get trampled in the process. And if you're wondering about Toby Dog and Abby Dog, they got momentarily distracted by some hawks – or what they thought were hawks. I suspect they were actually turkey vultures, but the dogs went into full alert mode.
Come on, Belinda! I need you to go the other way! Come on, girl! Let's go! Chop chop, girl! We need everyone moving forward in that direction. Anya McMurray, you too! You can see some of the pasture is still quite wet, and I don't want the cattle trampling through that area. Baby Bell, what are you doing over here? Come on, and Green Gables, let's go! Amanda Hugging Kiss, no loafing! I want to reunite you with your little one. Come on! Look at this little nap zone we've got going on over here. Well, I'm sorry to break up the party, ladies, but you need to get up! Let's go, Princess Buttercup! Come on! Hey, Betty Rubble! Good to see you, girl! I'm going to need you to keep moving. Hey, Meatloaf! What's going on, buddy? Hey, Boscow! Can you encourage your crew down the hill? I need everyone down the hill. And then we have Annabelle, who still hasn't calved, but she's looking closer and closer. I think your big day is coming very soon. Did you perhaps lead this little escape mission? Come on, let's go! Chop chop! Come on, girls! All the moo crew, let's go! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
I know I sometimes rely on Abby Dog as a herding assistant, but it's moments like this that I truly dream of having a proper herding dog. It would make working with the cattle so much easier. Come on! Through the swamp! Let's go! Come on! Yep! Buffy! Come on, Scooch! Yep! Yaw! Yep! Yaw! Yep! Yaw! Down the hill they go! Now, I'm going to need you to come with me right through here. Hey, Buffy, leave that chestnut tree alone! Hey, Kels! Come on, Cals! Fresh grass! Fresh grass! Got them!
Well, that worked out rather smoothly! Now I have everyone in this fresh new pasture. Well, almost everyone. Annabelle, for some reason, adamantly refused to join the party while I was getting everyone else settled. So, I'm not quite sure what her deal is. We'll have to figure that out later. But yes, the majority of the escapees are back where they belong. And as you can see, there's always more work to be done here on the farm. So, this is where I'm going to leave you all for today. But thank you so much for joining me, and be sure to check out another video soon!